I’m not asking you to tell on yourself, but raise your hand if you’ve met anyone recently who seemed to be holding a greater than usual amount of stress, anxiety, worry, despair.

Yeah, me too.

Some of it might be the election. A lot of people are reporting election-related stress. I’m not sure if it makes it easier or harder to remember that four years ago, we didn’t have the election settled until the following Saturday. It’s very possible that we won’t know the outcome right away.

So, what are we going to do? For the most part, we’ve done all we can to influence the election itself; the money donated, postcards mailed, door-knocking, phone banking or text banking. Whether it’s for candidates or for issues, the work of the election is mostly over.

The Peace of Wild Things

It’s time to look for that wood drake and heron in the Wendell Berry poem above. Probably not literally looking for those exact birds, but I know that getting myself into nature is the best cure I have for taxing my life with forethought of grief. For me, I do enjoy watching the birds, but there’s something really wonderful about getting my body under some trees and feeling how much bigger they are than I am. One tree is good, but the woods are better.

Whatever comes, and my decades as a voter have taught me that every election is a mixed bag of results, we’ll need to live through it in our bodies.

A group of people in our congregation are meeting weekly to explore the practices in Resmaa Menakem’s book My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies. Menakem offers a method that he calls five anchors for meeting and moving through trauma. These can be useful in interpersonal conflict, but I also like them when I get that unsettled feeling in my body.

Anchor 1: Soothe yourself to quiet your mind, calm your heart, and settle your body.

Any of those settling techniques we talked about with the kids are a great way to do this, if you can, but if you’re about to have a fight with your coworker, maybe it’s not the best time to start humming or butterfly tapping. You’ll still need to breathe, of course, so begin by bringing some attention to your breath. Sit down, set down anything you’re holding, do whatever you need to do to take care of your body. Have a sip of water, take off your sweater if you’re feeling hot, or go to the bathroom to get a few minutes alone. Remind yourself that you’ve got this–you don’t have to react impulsively.

Anchor 2: Simply notice the sensations, vibrations, and emotions in your body instead of reacting to them.

What does it feel like to be in your body right now? How do your clothes feel against your skin? What does your breath feel like as it moves in and out of you? What is the temperature of the air? Inside your body, where do you feel tight? Where do you feel heavy? Where do you feel hot, or buzzy, or tingly? Do you have pain? Is there a part of your body that feels ease?

What emotions do you feel inside your body? What do they feel like? Don’t do anything about them, just notice them.

Anchor 3: Accept the discomfort–and notice when it changes–instead of trying to flee from it.

We’ve been trained for comfort. Given the option, most of us would rather be comfortable than uncomfortable. Our bodies are wired to keep us safe, and discomfort might make us nervous that we’re about to be in danger.

If you’re trying to tell whether you’re facing discomfort or danger, look around. Is there a physical threat? Usually not, but if there is, get out of there! Check in with your body again. Is there something dangerous happening inside your body? If you’re physically unwell, get medical attention. We’re not accepting actual danger here. Always take care of yourself.

But when there’s discomfort in you–when you feel sad or angry or ashamed or nervous–stay with that feeling. Maybe even accept that it’s trying to protect you from something, that whatever is happening now is reminding part of you of a thing that happened before. Accept this discomfort as a protective part of yourself and give yourself permission to be curious about it. As you observe it, it will change. Don’t hold tight to it, let it move through you.

Anchor 4: Stay present and in your body as you move through the unfolding experience, with all its ambiguity and uncertainty, and respond from the best parts of yourself.

This is where you actually deal with whatever sets off the unsettledness. Stay present as you have the hard conversation, or take in the news or lack of news. Don’t have an agenda for the moment. Stay present, respond from your own integrity as it feels relevant at this moment. If you lose track of the present moment, if you lose track of your own highest self, just come back as many times as it takes.

But wait–you’re not done yet!

Anchor 5: Safely discharge any energy that remains.

In the aftermath of this big stressful thing, you might still have a lot of energy coursing through your body. You need to let it go. Menakem recommends any form of continuous exercise, including walking, physical labor, whatever your body needs so long as it disperses energy and doesn’t hurt you or someone else.

Several months ago, I was on my couch with a friend and suddenly my dog was on alert. I heard my storm door open, and then the inner door opened. I hopped up, reminded myself that I was safe and in my own house, met the opening door to find my neighbor from two doors down trying to bring his groceries and a big bucket of kitty litter into my house. He realized he was in the wrong place, apologized, and went to the correct door. I closed my door, returned to the couch, and collapsed against my friend as laughter took over my body. The laughter was the energy dispersing.

I told you back in September that I have begun boxing, and this is why. Not to fight off intruders bearing kitty litter, but to have that energetic discharge. I have historically preferred energy-gathering sorts of movement like yoga, but I’m realizing that they don’t meet all my needs.

I feel better able to take on those middle anchors–noticing, accepting, and staying present–when I make those soothing and settling practices and energy-discharging practices part of my regular routine. Getting myself under the trees, if not with the wood drake and the heron, to settle myself; boxing to release the energy. And in the middle, paying closer attention to my body, accepting my feelings as what they are, and rolling with whatever comes.

What are you gonna do? What’s your plan? I hope you vote if you are eligible, of course, but how are you soothing yourself? Maybe you get under the trees, or watch nature videos, or pet your cat. Maybe you take a bath and eat some ice cream. Maybe you have some favorite movies cued up or books to read.

And how are you dispersing the energy that builds as you meet the moments one by one? Going for a run or a walk, having a dance party, playing a drum, finding some absolutely ridiculous nonsense comedy that makes you laugh beyond all reason?

Take care of yourself. It’s okay to turn off the TV or radio, to stop refreshing the news website. The news will still be there when you’re ready to come back to it. This too is an important part of soothing the body. You wouldn’t stand in front of an air conditioner when you’re cold or in front of the fire when you’re already hot–you don’t have to hold yourself in the way of that endless stream of news.

Take care of each other. I’d like you to make two phone calls this coming week. Usually when I tell you to make phone calls, it’s to your elected representatives on behalf of your beloveds; this time I’m asking you to check in with your beloveds in this election week. The first phone call is to someone who comes to you with their worries. Don’t wait for them to call you–just call them and tell them that you’re thinking of them. The second phone call is to the person who holds your worries, and it’s the same script–just call them and tell them that you’re thinking of them. If either phone call goes further, that’s great; stay in the present as you talk and listen. If you’re not sure who those people are for you, just reach out to two people you know. This is no time to try to go it alone, and simply reaching out helps us remember that we are social creatures meant for community.

Whatever comes, don’t skip your regular community events unless your group decides together to join a bigger event. Trust people with how you really are, with the intention of being honest, vulnerable, and kind. This is no week to skip your exercise class, your regular therapy appointment, your art group, your lunch bunch. These communities are essential and part of how you’ll stay grounded.

And we’re your community too. Whatever comes, we meet it together. We don’t wait until we’re perfect or the world is perfect to come into community. It’s an ongoing process of coming back to community and to our own highest selves, over and over, a practice rather than a product, staying present and grounded and real.

We’re facing a week of unknowns, but what I do know is that this is a community of care. I know that even when we love imperfectly, we remain committed to love in our practice and as our highest goal. Grounded in love, with love at our center, we will meet the moments as they come.

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash